This year was…Wow. And not in a good way.
January and February started alright, and then, March happened. The phrase “X was supposed to happen, but COVID hit…” became part of my lexicon. Self-doubt was at an all-time high. Was drowning in it. I was so focused and blinded by “the now” that I had forgotten how blessed I was. I felt as if I wasn’t doing enough. Busy, for me, equated to productivity, which, in retrospect, was a terrible mindset to have. Mind you, this was all transpiring during a pandemic, as people were worrying about losing their homes, jobs, salaries, food, lives, etc. (I am/can be unreasonably hard on myself. Have been since I was a kid.) My issues were significantly smaller in comparison, but when you’re so lost in your head, they feel gigantic. Pressing.
I was honestly scared how the rest of the year was going to play out, personally.
Fast-forward to August. As a kid, I always associated it as the worst month because we’d have to go back to school. The end of summer and fun times. But in 2020, it was the exact opposite. It was the month that, after weeks of campaigning and dealing with attempts to destroy his character, that my dad became the new mayor of my hometown. He didn’t just beat his opponent, he won by a landslide. 505 votes. My family cried tears of joy as we embraced my dad in a group hug. It was a relief. This man, my dad, was adamant on maintaining a clean campaign, and it paid off. (I pray that the former mayor gets cartoon mad every time he hears “Celebrate” by Kool & the Gang as a reminder of election night.) August was a bright light in the midst of deep shadows.
Three months later, the day before Thanksgiving, I would receive an email that I have been waiting for since jumping into creative writing: a short story had been accepted for publication! Rejection after rejection didn’t hold me back. Receiving that acceptance email reaffirmed to me that I was in the right place. That I wasn’t just wasting time or writing in vain. And most importantly, that I didn’t choose the wrong profession.
So, what did I learn this year? Things will never go as planned. Be patient. Be grateful and thankful for family. To not be hard on myself.
And that cats are the best form of entertainment.
Here’s to a better 2021.